Sea of Emotions

Sometimes I wish I could just wash it all away. The panic, pain, fear, and anxieties. Fighting this war within myself is exhausting. I feel guilty for even thinking such thoughts. But I can’t help it. I’m broken. It’s an unshakable feeling of desperation and pain. My past submerged deep into my subconscious. Mind melting with emotions. Oceans wave that sucker-punches me, leaving me gasping for air, trying to breathe, to float, to prepare for the next wave.

Such is my life.

A series of turbulent ocean waves. The solution has always been my writing. As I pen this post, I begin to feel better. The sun is shining bright. I made it to my destination, my next meeting, to talk about my research project with Dr. Weatherford. My moment of weakness has diminished. I am strong. I will keep fighting this battle. There is a purpose for all this madness. This constant ebb and flow of happiness and sadness. He made me this way because He knew I could handle it. He made me this way for a reason. Even in our darkest days and moments, we are worthy of life.

Keep fighting that valiant battle. Cherish each moment!

Best regards,



He left just a little too quickly this morning

coffee pot still brewing, dining-room a mess

as if He had never been there (with me)


or ever

a trick of the mind

perhaps, but, how can I be so sure

when his imprint on the bed

lingers still

long after the scent of his cheap cologne

has been washed away



Inspiration comes to me at 4AM
The way it does most every night
Hi-jacking my unconsciousness
Volatile and polite
Igniting pathways of neuronal ecstasy

A welcome distraction
From the sleepless nights
When the empty pang of desperation just won’t subside
An Aha moment brought to life
By pen and pad

And it leaves just as quickly as it came
Without a trace
Without a name
Another sleepless night
Inspiration comes to me at 4AM

RMR 12/19/2017

Blog update

For those of you who are still listening to my story… My deepest apologies for my absence as of late; I just completed an arduous school semester. Alas, I can breathe and recuperate my energy back into my writing and time with my family. Next semester, regardless of my workload, I plan to be posting weekly if not more frequently than that.

I’ve have been through a lot, and, I am still going through some things, personal issues that I need to resolve {that I am not ready to talk about just yet}. But I will continue to move forward, working through my personal issues, knowing that it is ok for my life to be messy at times, so long as I keep on trying to do good, and being human only makes it more-so relatable. I learned the hard way, when I was young, that no man or woman is infallible to hard times. But it is in those hard times, when we are tested, that we discover our true inner-strength. Feel free to share your stories, experiences and feedback. I would love to hear from the community

all my best,



He thought what better place for inspiration to transpire from, then, the panic of his beating heart
the location of-
induced by-

anxious-driven forward-thought
produced by-
erratic push-pull start-stop motions.

Illuminating shadows
Aware of-
waiting for-

Compelled by, the fire
And fog, a potent toxicity of-

mistakes bind us to this wasteland of infinite mourning.
created by-

heart-beating-syncopated-terror death-drum toll
integration of
illusions created by-
manifested in-

Riddled with-
Influenced by